I want to tell you about a moment in my life that completely changed my path, made me a stronger woman, and is a big part of Viva La Bonita.
It was 2 AM. I was living with my grandma at the time. My son had just been born and as I stared at him sleeping peacefully, I was faced with what I felt was the toughest decision of my life.
See, my maternity leave was almost up. I had to go back to work soon. Which is fine, but what made this such a hard choice was that I worked 60 hour weeks at my job and Viva La Bonita was starting to work. There was no way for me to work like I used to, take care of my son, AND give VLB the attention it needed to grow.
I kept saying to myself “just go back to work, put VLB on hold, and pick it back up when your son is older.” That was the safest thing to do, right? But it hurt B. It hurt looking at my son while he slept and thinking work came first, he came second, and VLB last.
My inner voice kept making up all these scenarios. What if VLB doesn’t work? What if I’m wasting my time? What if I’m not a good mom? What if… What if? WHAT IF?!?
But then… a thought came to me.
What if…. I quit my job and everything DID work out….?
That thought made time stop.
I laid in the dark. A moment of silence that made my thoughts louder than they had ever been.
What if... I was a great mom?
What if… VLB worked out EXACTLY as I imagined it?
What if… I stopped letting all these pendejadas(as my grandpa would call them) stop controlling my life and acted like they could kill me?
I knew they couldn’t actually kill me but they were hurting my mental state!
They were keeping me from living the life I wanted to live.
Everytime I had to make an important choice, these pendejadas would get in the way and make me choose something bad or the safer choice. Not the one that would be most beneficial to me.
At that moment I said out loud, I would not let the negativity control me anymore. I will avoid it at all costs.
I became allergic to pendajas.
From then on, I made that saying my mantra. Allergic to pendajas.
It has guided me towards success, made my relationships with family and friends blossom, and made me eat healthier cuz too much fast food is low key a pendejada too.
Anything that makes your life or body worse is a pendejada
Toxic relationships… Pendejadas
Getting on IG just to get mad and ruin your day… Pendejadas
Hanging out with that one friend who you KNOW causes you to make bad decisions you regret later… Pendejadas
The truth is most pendejadas start in our minds. Most of the time we are our biggest enemy and worst influence.
Even to this day, when I’m making an important decision for my family or for VLB, the pendajas try to cloud my judgment and make the wrong choice. It never really goes away.
But the more you avoid them, and listen to the chingona inside you instead, the quieter that negative voice gets. And the easier it is to do the right thing.
Every time you’re faced with a tough choice and the negativity gets louder, tell yourself you’re allergic to that B.S and turn your thoughts towards the good outcomes.
If you feel that voice is too quiet to find in those moments, practice self-care daily Bonita.
Meditate, use affirmations, drink water, take a deep breath, spend time with your loved ones, call your parents. Anything that puts you in a better mood and helps your heart and soul grow.
Try it for a week. I promise you it will change your life.